This is a story about my life.
l never thought very much about it.
l always assumed l'd end up pretty much like the people you see here.
Get up, go to work, eat, sleep.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Yeah, l didn't give life, or anything else...
...to be completely honest, much thought.
l'm just not what you would call a deep thinker.
So before that fateful day...
...l didn't think much about what my life meant.
But that morning felt a little off.
l was-- What's the word?
Philosophical? Yeah.
That was the first day l wondered how my life would turn out.
l guess l should have thought about that sooner.
And then l woke up. Woke up dead.
They need to put a zipper on the inside of this thing.
l can't be the first guy who's ever been zipped up in a body bag by mistake.
What are you doing here?
-l'm calling security -No, Cassie.
-How do you know my name? -Back when l went to SC.
l'm Drexel Green. l used to see you on campus.
Oh, my God, you're stalking me.
l'm not stalking you.
What are you doing? l could've
Look, it started last night.
l was at this party in Venice and....
l was there with my girlfriend, Debbie Kleiner.
My roommate, Matt, filmed the whole thing.
l'm gonna zoom in and then you show me some boob.
Matt. Hey.
-What's up, dude? -Oh, not much.
Just got bitch-punched, that's all.
How am l supposed to make something...
...caIIed SoCal Chicks and Tits sans tits?
What's wrong? You look terrible.
l have a terrible headache. Hey, have you seen Debbie?
l wanna get out of here.
Debbie?
Deb?
-Debbie? -Oh, yeah, money shot.
-Drex? -That's gotta burn , man .
Crap. l'm sorry.
-l'm sorry l saw what iust happened. -Oh, my God.
Hey, iust don't block the shot, okay?
Dude, are you okay?
-Splitting headache. -Here.
This will straighten you out.
That's so nice. What a kind gesture.
That's it, get back into there.
Yeah. Feel it.
Can we see a little cleave? That's the stuff.
Do you mind if l get in there with you? It'll just give me a better angle.
Feel free to touch it if you have the urge, sweetie.
Okay, no.
You took a pill from a guy who was making out with your girlfriend?
Okay, so she technically wasn't my girlfriend or anything.
What does this have to do with you winding up in a body bag?
Went back to the apartment and my head was still burning...
...so l iumped in the tub and took a cold bath.
This is what it looks like.
Romance. Dead in the water.
Oh, Drex, you didn't have to do this. Yes, Debbie betrayed you.
But you didn't have to take it this far, man.
Dude, what the hell?
l'm drowning and you're making a YouTube video out of it?
You weren't drowning, you were drowned.
You've been under there for 15 minutes.
What? No.
Yes.
Dude, you were dead.
That's impossible.
Are you high? l'm not dead.
You were dead.
And then you got up.
Holy shit, Drex.
You're the living dead.
You're a zombie.
l'm naked.
Can you sit up a little for me?
He said you were a zombie?
Or the living dead or whatever.
He said it would be good for his website.
Oh, my God, wokeupdead.tv.
That could be the name of the website.
-So this is a publicity stunt? -l wish.
lt's real.
Leave me alone.
Your death, the birth of my film career.
This is great, my roommate's turning into a zombie.
-Stop filming me. -Oh, come on, man.
This is gold. Zombie eating, take one.
l am not a zombie.
All l know is if you're dead but still walking...
...that inherently makes you a zombie, it's just logical.
-And so commercial. -l'm not a zombie, all right?
And there is nothing wrong with
Okay, l iust vomited in my mouth.
That's the sickest thing l've ever seen in my life.
Thank you, Kodak, for making splash resistance.
lf you need to do that again...
...could you give me a warning so that l can zoom out.
-l'm iust gonna get some fresh air. -Okay, that sounds good.
But would you mind first cleaning up this....
What you sicked?
So l went for a walk.
To think about life, to shake off the weirdness and start the day.
Yeah, right.
And you know the rest, l didn't get very far.
Drex, whatever's going on, there's an explanation.
-Like what? -lt could be hypothermic hemostasis.
Hypodermic what?
A condition where extreme cold...
...slows the body functions to a level that can look like death.
Like when a kid is ice skating and falls through and gets frozen for 15 minutes.
So l iust thawed out?
-l could be fine. -Yeah.
Wait. No, they thought l was dead too.
-Who's they? -The paramedics.
-Right after l was hit by the bus. -Why would they think that?
Nothing.
Look, l think something really bad is wrong with me.
Can you help me?
l promise, Drex. l'll try.
Didn't you think to get him out of there?
He wasn't breathing, okay?
l figured he was dead and that he had some weird disease or germs.
-So l didn't wanna touch him. -Thanks.
l'm not dead, or dying or anything.
-You know, l iust overslept. -ln the tub.
How long you think he was in there?
At least 15 minutes.
Cassie was all over the upload.
She wanted to make sure it wasn't fake.
She kept asking to see more.
l think Matt was interested in seeing more of Cassie.
Jeez, big surprise there.
lt might be hypothermic hemostasis.
You mean iust like that movie...
...where those guys thawed out that caveman from the ice and he was fine.
-lceman? -Mo, Dinosaurus!
Yes, but, Drex, the difference is you were not in a block of ice.
You were in a cold bath.
Hypo...whatever doesn't explain...
...why you weren't breathing for over 15 minutes.
You sound disappointed like l might be okay.
Relax. You're not okay.
So it's possible l could be perfectly fine, right?
We have to explore every option.
Start with what you remember. We need to talk to Mystery Pill Guy.
Well, l don't really remember what he looks like.
We could look at the video.
-You recorded that too? -Yeah, l posted it last night.
What? You posted it?
lt got 37,000 hits.
-What? -Put it on .
Debbie?
-Drex? -That's gotta burn, man.
Crap. l'm sorry.
Can we see a little cleave? That's the stum.
Do you mind if l get in there with you? It'll just give me a better angle.
Hey. l'm sorry.
Why? You didn't do anything.
No. l'm iust practicing my bedside manner.
Doctors are supposed to sound like they care, so...
...how did l do?
-Not bad, l guess. -Good.
Look, maybe you're right, maybe you are fine, but we have to make sure.
Wait, is that more practicing sounding like you care?
-Does it matter? -A little.
We should go back to the hospital and run some tests.
-Maybe you could see my teacher. -No more hospitals or doctors.
Those EMT guys said l was dead, they put me in a body bag.
So first thing tomorrow we'll go out and look for Mystery Pill Guy.
l can't. l have a iob interview.
l have student loan payments. l don't have rich parents like Matt.
l've got an idea.
We could make a website about your condition and make money that way.
No, thanks. l'll take a iob.
Do you wanna watch them make out again?
On video?
Was that a yes?
My life was turning into weird central.
l needed to get back to normal life.
Yeah, get a job in the morning like a normal person.
Wothing was wrong with me.
l'm fine.
Rush hour.
Eight million people going to work in L.A.
And today l join them.
Today l will become...
...normal.
Hey, that Cassie chick was pretty cute.
-ls she coming back? -After her shift, l think.
And she's not cute. She's a doctor.
A medical student is not a doctor.
And a dork with a video camera is not a director.
Oh, my God. l was powned.
-l'm gonna be late. -''The Late Drex Green.''
-That's a good name for a website. -Goodbye.
Yeah, you're right.
What about drexgreenisapussy.you?
Because that's what you're being now.
Or zombiepussy.drex.
lnfocorps.
One of those giant soulless buildings that just screams, you know, home.
So basically, this is your first real job, isn't it?
No, l....
Well, there was that one time l....
Yes.
Gosh, l hate this feeling.
Wait. What if Matt was right?
What would zombie Drex do? He wouldn't just sit here.
No.
Drugs?
Do you have a drug problem, Mr. Green?
No.
No, l don't take drugs, sir.
Ma'am.
You had good grades and enough classes for three majors.
Well, you know, l was trying to go for that whole Renaissance man thing.
You know, iack-of-all-trades?
Master of none?
My mother used to say that.
Well, maybe your mama was on to something.
Welcome to Infocorps, Mr. Green.
Don't screw it up.
This is our data-entry section, Mr. Green.
The very heart and soul of Infocorps' empire.
Drex, Andrew Batten.
He's been with us for six years.
He'll get you up to speed.
Hey, Andy. Drex.
What do you know about data processing, Green?
We process data into the computer?
At Infocorps we process personal data for a myriad of industrial clients.
State, local, federal...
...medical, law enforcement, military, educational.
lf there's any information a corporation needs...
...lnfocorps can provide it.
Dude, that was awesome. You said it just like in the brochure.
That's right.
Turn on your computer.
On your right you'll find your client files.
When you're finished, put them in the box on the left side of your desk.
Barbara comes by and picks up the finished ones.
And listen, keep your hands off Barbara.
She's mine.
Did l mention the thing about Barbara?
Yeah, twice.
-Oh, Green. -Hey, you're on my screen too.
Cool.
Yes, we're all on the same server.
So you can IM any employee and any employee can IM you.
That includes the people upstairs. The man.
So no porn.
-What the hell is going on? -Nothing.
l.... It's iust.... The monitor is awesome.
lt's iust so rad.
l never worked with such an amazing piece of hardware before.
l'm so pleased that you like it.
How could somebody connected to this network know l woke up dead?
That would mean - No.
l probably just imagined that Pittsburgh666 message.
lt's just hypothermia, right?
-What are you filming? -l'm not filming anything yet.
Just adiusting these settings. You know, white balance.
Whatever that is.
Okay, and action.
Hi, l'm Cassie.
l'm a med student and plan to specialize in neuropathology.
Right, and that's like having sex with dead people?
That's necrophilia.
Neuropathology is the study of disease in nervous system tissue.
-Are you filming my cleavage? -What?
No. That's sick.
Can you iust arch your back a little bit?
Hey. l take it you got the iob.
-How was your first day? -Monotonous.
Soul-killing.
-What are you guys doing? -Helping Matt with his documentary.
Are you feeling better today?
Yeah, actually, l think that hypnotherapy is helping.
Hypothermia. l brought some gear home from the hospital.
So if hospitals make you freak we can run the tests here.
All l can think about is l'm starved.
Hey, come on, l've got some mac and cheese in here.
Look at what we got here. Yummy, yes?
-Mac and cheese. -Yeah, eat some of that protein.
Thank you.
-You knew he was gonna do that. -That is not fair.
l didn't know he was gonna do it but was hoping he would.
l can't keep anything down.
Oh, wait, you know what? l totally forgot.
l've got some of my nana's meatloaf in the fridge.
-You like that stuff, right? -l guess.
Drex, how are you feeling right now?
l iust gacked. How do you think l'm feeling?
Yummy, yummy. Look at that.
Doesn't look like nana's meatloaf.
Of course that's nana's meatloaf. You love that.
That's weird meatloaf.
My stomach likes it. It's good.
Dude, it's brains.
Brains?
What are you doing with brains?
-They're calves' brains. -What was the point of that?
Dude, the point is you're a zombie. You just ate raw brains.
Stop it. Cassie, why can l only eat brains, not regular food?
Some enzymes survive after death, but only in the brain.
Talk about food for thought, huh?
This is Matt Masiello and l'm here with Drex Green...
...who woke up dead yesterday and is now turning into a full-fledged zombie.
-l did not wake up dead. -l'm sorry, that was my bad.
He woke up dead yesterday. Woke up dead, that's great.
Oh, my God, wokeupdead.tv.
That could be name of the website.
l'm seeing action figures, T-shirts. Oh, the goth kids are gonna love you.
You will be the patron saint of the emo community.
l wanna figure out what happened to me.
-Stop filming. -No, keep filming.
-Okay. -What? Why?
-l thought you were on my side. -l am on your side.
But it's important we keep track of your condition.
Listen. You asked for my help.
But l think it's important that you finally admit...
...that something is very wrong with you.
-And we have to find out what. -Okay.
Fine, we'll go tomorrow to that party house...
...find that guy with the pill, then you'll see...
...there's a perfectly simple explanation for all of this.
Yes, and one that is cinematically spectacular.
Yes, sir, absolutely. Positive ID.
We got the address, sir.
Death certificate was filed yesterday...
...and a W-9 was filed today.
l know, sir. It's very exciting.
We've been waiting for this day for 20 long years.
We finally got one of these bastards.
Oh, l'm sorry, sir.
Date of birth.
Social Security number.
Driver's license number. Credit rating.
An hour to lunch.
The smell of Batten's brains was making me really hungry.
Andy is a total douche but he's also very, very smart...
...so l'm guessing his brains are nice and juicy.
l bet Barbara's are too.
l can't believe l'm thinking this.
l looked on Wikipedia and it said that zombies are attracted to brains.
Maybe l am turning into a zombie.
l did want brains after l gacked on the mac and cheese.
All right, you drive, l'll film.
So, Dr. Young, what are we hoping to find today?
Trying to find the pill that Drex ingested.
And what kind of pill could change a halfway decent man...
...into a full-fledged brain-eating zombie?
-There is no pill that can do that. -What about Cialis?
-l thought this was serious. -You're right.
What mystery pill do you think we're looking for?
Scopolamine, a central nervous system depressant.
Kind of like a super sleeping pill.
Sounds dangerous.
Drex, tell me something.
Do insomniac zombies count dead sheep?
How would l know? l'm not a zombie.
Yeah, l think l've seen him before. Yeah, he was here.
-Well, do you remember his name? -No, and he's not from around here.
He's some loser who bought a cool car...
...hangs out at parties and bangs young chicks.
l got a question.
Who uses a spoon to serve Doritos?
Okay, let's go.
Look, l mean.... Wait, what are we doing right now?
-You go back to work. -You wanna come film me at work?
l have a bunch of stuff to edit and post.
-Here. -What is this?
Okay, this is Kodak's new HD digital video camera.
l literally look more real on that screen than l do in the flesh.
And like 15 pounds light.
l was powned.
-But it's pink. -Who cares?
lt's iust a color.
You can use it to post anything cool, 24/7.
lt's a good idea, Drex, so we can keep track of your deterior - Progress.
Okay, why don't you use the pink one?
l already called dibs on the red one.
-Great. -Let me see that, l wanna make sure
Hurry, l got an hour for lunch. Don't wanna be late.
Why don't you iust quit that bullshit job?
Admit you're a zombie, do a horror film that l direct.
Get my dad to front the money.
Show it at Sundance, set it up with Netflix
-Matt, stop. -Yeah.
Drex, if you wanna find the Mystery Pill Guy...
...you're gonna have to talk to Debbie.
Yeah, no. l'm....
You know what? l'm feeling better.
l'm serious, that pill that guy gave me...
...it must have worn off because l feel fine.
-Holy shit. -What?
That car was following us 15 minutes ago.
-Are you sure? -Yeah.
Remember when l made that illegal U-turn...
...because l saw that chick with the huge rack?
-Yes. -Well, he was behind us then.
-Could it be Mystery Pill Guy? -Only one way to find out.
Hey, buddy, what do you want? What are you doing here?
He's getting away. We gotta stop him.
-That wasn't the pill guy. -Great. Another mystery man.
The plot fricking thickens.
Tests. l don't know what they expect to find.
l'm not dying. And l'm certainly not dead.
You're a zombie!
l mean, l'm talking, aren't l? l'm awake. l'm alive, l swear.
No loss of life.
Well, maybe my life is falling apart.
l lost Debbie, but now l have Cassie. And Matt.
-Are you filming my cleavage? -What? No. That's sick.
And his Kodak T1000, whatever that thing is.
Let's go take a look at your MRl.
To be honest, Cassie's the only thing keeping me going right now.
She believes in me.
She's so cute when she talks about science and all those medical
Oh, my gosh, l'm so pathetic.
-You're amazing. -l am?
Your system gives every indication of decaying...
...but it's not losing functionality.
-Which means? -This isn't textbook dying.
Zombie.
Matt, stop it.
Drex, this could be really good news, sort of.
You know, speaking of good news, l actually had some at work today.
lt's fine.
Mom, it's only been a couple days but it seems to be working out okay.
No, l'm not going to screw this one up.
No, l don't mess everything up, Mom.
Green, ask your mother what she's wearing right now.
lt's no one. It's iust a iackass.
l'm fine. Why do you keep asking me that?
Look, l'll call you on the weekend, all right?
-l love you too. Bye. -Me too.
Yes. It's not my imagination.
Yeah. Got brains?
Matt, is this by any chance you just screwing with my head?
Wait, wait, wait. You thought that guy was me?
Dude, l don't even like IM.
-l'm a tweeting kind of guy. -That's what l thought.
So if it's not you then someone outside the three of us knows about me.
Like that guy who's been following us.
-Did you videotape it, for proof? -Slow down.
So you IM'd but then he didn't IM back.
Wait. You guys believe me, right?
That somebody knows that you're turning into a zombie...
...and hacked into your work desktop?
-No. -Drex, you could have hallucinated.
-l'm not crazy. -l didn't say that.
l will. l think you're absolutely crazy.
The whole oxygen flow to your brain is changing.
Some parts are getting less oxygen, which could affect your perception.
All right, so maybe l've been seeing some things recently...
...that don't strictly exist.
-Yahtzee. -Like the words on the computer.
No, those were real, okay?
l think. l don't know.
Look, Drex, we're gonna get through this, together.
Together?
Yeah.
l think this thing is broken.
Oh, there we go.
Disease in nervous system tissue Are you filming my cleavage?
What? No. That's sick.
Don't think about Cassie that way.
Okay, back to work.
Date of birth. Social Security number.
Driver's license number. Credit rating.
This is more like it. Statistics.
Think of statistics and not Cassie's amazing
Date of birth. Social Security number.
So much info. You can find out anything about anybody.
Even me.
My grades from elementary school.
My first failed driver's test.
My death certificate.
Wait. My death certificate?
Gotta get out of here. Gotta get this straightened out.
Wame, date of birth.
The faster l finish, the faster l get out of here.
Hey, that was fast. Super fast.
That's what l get for waking up dead? Super secretary skills?
-Andy? -What now, Green?
-l'm done. -With what?
My files.
Again?
You must have made some mistake. Get out of my way.
What? How?
Guess l'm iust a fast learner.
l know what you're up to. You're trying to show me up.
-What? -Don't try to deny it.
l've had my eye on you since you started.
l see your game.
Roll in here all innocent-like then close up more accounts in half a day...
...than the rest of us do in a shift.
Yeah, yeah. What are you on?
Chinese Water Buffalo hop-up pills?
Guatemalan bat-piss poppers?
-l don't take drugs, all right? -Right.
We'll soon see.
Might be for you.
Green.
Miss Phillips.
What?
Yeah, in the first floor men's bathroom?
-Right now? Yeah, l'll be right there. -Right now?
-Oh, you will? -Yes. Okay.
Mess with the bull you get the horns.
That's the ticket, that's the
Get away from me.
lt's my second day at work and Batten ratted on me.
That's how l failed my first Infocorps urine test.
No, they didn't find drugs.
Results were so weird management assumed they were a mistake...
...so they asked me for another sample.
Cassie, this is the men's room.
l can tell. Ladies' room doesn't smell as bad.
Aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?
Matt sent this.
-lt's cold. -He said he keeps it in the freezer.
Next to my Hot Pockets?
Don't ask me. He said it was in case of drug tests.
That guy talks about dreams of Hollywood and fame.
He's wasting his life getting high and watching porn.
-He's never cleaned a dish, not once. -You put up with it.
Learn how to stand up for yourself or you might get flushed under.
See you tonight.
Oh, you should light a match in here.
Hey, Batt.
Wanted to let you know that everything was fine.
l know how concerned you are.
Oh, l figured since l already finished today's work...
...l'm iust gonna take off early.
See you.
This isn't over yet, kid.
Andrew Batten knows how to deal with interlopers.
Yeah, this dance has 15 rounds, pal.
And this is iust the top of the third quarter.
lt's 40-love and l'm coming back four more furlongs!
l'll tell you that now.
l've gotta see more sports movies.
Dead or alive, this was the first day l felt, what do you call it?
Powerful. Yeah, powerful.
Enioy the night air, buddy...
...but soon you're gonna be playing my game.
We're here.
l can't do this.
-Drex. -l kind of thought she was the one.
That was all stupid of me, but l just can't, you know...
...face her again.
l understand. Wait for me here.
Both of you.
Shotgun.
What are you shooting? l'm not doing anything.
l'm doing a new webisode called ''Zombie Pusses Out.''
You think l want to?
-Now Cassie thinks l'm a loser. -She always thought you were a loser.
-Oh, thanks. -Do not fall for her.
Why not?
What if she likes me? l think she does.
Oh, my God, you're stalking me.
Your disease is what's turning her on. You do realize that, right?
-What, are you iealous? -Yes.
l wish l had a mysterious illness that l was dying from. That's just it.
Here, let me cheer you up. Look.
Oh, baby. Oh, baby.
Why should l talk to you?
Because Drex needs your help.
Drex, huh?
-Who are you again? -l'm his doctor.
Sort of.
You like him? Sort of.
That's not the point.
You treated him like shit.
-And you're not going to? -l hope not, not like you did.
Look, iust tell me, who was this guy?
Look, l didn't get all the details, like his name.
When he took me home from the party...
...l saw he had a vanity plate on his car, ''10 Incher.''
He was so exaggerating.
Like l care.
What have you guys been doing?
Matt was iust cheering me up.
Yeah, l can see that.
Tell me you got a lead from Debbie.
How about his license plate?
''Ten Incher''?
Now we know why she was hopping on his junk.
What can we do with this?
Well, we need to find somebody who has access to a huge database.
License plate numbers, addresses. Do we know anybody like that?
No.
Matt came along...
...but l did not feel good breaking into Infocorps my first week of work.
l was still on probation.
There it is. His address. Downtown.
This is crazy.
What's the matter with you?
The guy in the next cubicle wants to stab me in the back.
My roommate is trying to kill me so he can put it on YouTube.
The only woman in my life under 60 years old...
...probably thinks of me as a science fair project.
And now we're breaking into my office...
...so l can use the company computer files to find the guy....
Face it.
-My life can't get any worse. -lt's true.
What are you doing, Mr. Green?
l knew it.
l told you. Subterfuge. Cheater.
What are you doing in here? Who is this douche bag?
Douche bag? We just met, that's a little harsh.
This is my roommate, Matt.
What? You're gonna let her call me a douche bag?
l don't care who he is. He isn't an Infocorps employee.
Mr. Green, this is a data-processing facility.
Highly personal data.
l told you he couldn't finish his files that quickly.
He would come here early and get a head start.
And with a non-authorized accomplice.
-Well, it looks like they caught you. -Matt.
Tell her.
Tell her he's right.
Yeah. No, yeah.
l mean, l'm sorry, Miss Phillips. l....
-l was iust trying to do a good iob. -Yeah.
And he can't drive, he can't...
...because of what happened with him in the accident.
So l drove him, and now l'm gonna go, l'm gonna go home.
-You got that thing. -The thing l gotta do.
Mazel tov on the place, it looks great.
l'm sorry. It won't happen again.
Well, no harm done, l guess.
No harm done?
He's iust made a mockery of the core tenet of confidentiality...
...that this company was built on.
He's dragged its reputation through the mud.
He spat in the face of our beloved founders...
...and wiped his butt with the indignity
Andrew, Andrew. Enough.
We don't punish people...
...for working more than they're supposed to, Andrew.
Can't we try?
Just remember, you're still on probation here.
Don't worry.
l won't let him forget.
Mystery Pill Guy lives in a pretty crappy neighborhood.
Well, it's gentrifying.
That means it's a crappy neighborhood with ridiculously high rent.
Zombie heat vision. Rad.
Drex versus Predator. Yeah.
Are you okay, Drex?
No, l'm dying, remember? Let's do this.
lf l were dying, would you feel that way?
Yeah?
Were you at a party on Venice Boulevard last Saturday?
-What's with the camera? -You were with this girl.
Oh, man. Is this some girlfriend thing?
Look, l don't wanna make a scene about some chick, okay?
You gave me a pill.
l said l'm not talking to you.
Besides, she wasn't that good anyway.
Listen!
-What kind of pill? -Dude, Advil.
Advil. Look
He's telling the truth. It's the same pill, it is Advil.
You always carry Advil around with you?
l get migraines.
Well, Advil does dick for migraines.
Get some Imitrex.
Debbie said you were hung like a hamster.
And hamsters are small like your dick.
Don't make me come back here.
So l wasn't poisoned by him.
Which means l've got nothing to go on to find out who did this to me.
-Are you scared? -Yeah.
l mean, not by the whole l-might-be-dying thing.
Well, actually, that scares the crap out of me, but....
l don't know, there's something scarier...
...that's been poking holes in my brain when l'm trying to sleep...
...when l'm trying to work.
What if l'm not dying?
What if l'm becoming something else?
Something bad.
Guys, you're gonna wanna see this.
Guys! Oh, hey, check this out.
''Hello, Drex''?
He tracked you down here.
Dude, you are part of, like, a global conspiracy.
They're gonna track you down.
Hunt you like a rabid dog.
This iust keeps getting better all the time, really.
Then this wasn't an accident. Someone out there knows the truth.
You go, kid. That's right, you track them down.
Track them down, do my work for me.
Track them down and l will be right behind you.
All right.
Ready?
-You're lucky. -Oh, yeah.
Mr. Lucky, that's me.
lt's amazing, l thought because your systems were shutting down...
...your wounds wouldn't heal, but they are, and faster.
We have to keep Matt from hurting you.
He doesn't mean it. He iust gets excited whenever he makes videos.
-We're rolling. -How's my hair? Okay?
Okay, wud.tv. Today we made history.
Scope it.
My first check as a filmmaker.
And it only took you, like, what, 10 years?
Movies made in high school don't count.
You're ruining the shot.
Dude, you set me on fire. Put me out, put me out.
Read it and weep, Midnight Express video, 2000 bucks.
And SoCal Chicks Getting Freaky is just the start.
And you helped me, man.
No, you didn't. It was more your ex.
Dude, that Debbie sex video really closed the deal for us.
You sold that?
-Dude, watch it. -Why?
You can buy it with the money you made...
...from my national humiliation with Debbie.
That is absolutely untrue, because l didn't buy it, all right?
lt was given to me as a gift by my new sponsor, Kodak.
You have a sponsor?
They really, really love the low-light footage that l got.
Dude, you know how l feel about that night.
-Why would you do that? -Drex, l....
l wasn't doing it to hurt you.
l was iust....
Just?
lt's the first movie that l've ever made...
...that somebody actually wanted to buy, okay?
What was l supposed to do?
Matt, l'm iust saying....
l guess you were supposed to do what you did, all right? Happy?
lf we weren't such social retards...
...l would absolutely throw a party right now.
Why did you want to film here?
lt's a perfect location for a vacation video, don't you think?
-Vacation? -Yeah.
l shoot, you take a little trip.
Drex, you're hurting me.
You were about to push me off a building.
Yeah, for science.
Dude, don't iackass me.
You think l could fall three stories and be okay?
Yeah, you're a zomb....
lt's Drex, right?
-All right. You know what? -What?
Just keep me in the middle of the frame, all right?
Or l'm gonna be shooting you doing this next.
You got it.
This is stupid.
Ready?
-Did you get that? -That was amazing.
Can we do it one more time, a little tighter?
Yeah, you might wanna put a little Neosporin on that.
You jumped of your own free will?!
l thought l'd have to protect you from Matt.
-l didn't know you had a death wish. -l don't wanna die.
l iust wanna be in control of this.
Of my life.
Good.
Look, you don't understand.
l'm changing.
And it's all because of you.
Really?
ls that a good thing?
Well, yeah.
Hey, perfect timing. Make yourself useful.
So how was your first almost full week of work?
Everyone in that hellhole is already the walking dead.
l do not wanna end up like that.
lf that's what being a grownup is like, maybe dying is better than living.
-lt gets better. -Really?
For what it's worth, being an adult is great.
How would you know?
What? What's with all the secret hand signals?
-You iust cut all the carrots and celery. -So?
That's three pounds of vegetables in five seconds.
Seriously, it looked like Bishop from Aliens.
Really? It didn't seem that fast to me.
Of course, your perception of reality is altering.
-Let me feel your arm. -Wanna feel mine?
l feel sick in my pants.
Your nervous system is firing faster.
l wanna set up a nerve-induction test at the lab.
-All right, let's do it tomorrow morning. -After work.
You think l should go there still?
Yeah, that hellhole is a great place to find leads.
-That's how we found Pill Guy. -And maybe the guy who's IM'ing you.
-Totally got the Pill Guy, remember? -All right, let's do it, then.
Okay. Here, IP tracer software, okay?
When he contacts you again at work...
...this will backtrack to his Internet provider, leading us to his computer.
-You can do that? -l hope so.
Otherwise l maxed out his Visa for nothing.
-What? -l'm totally messing with you .
lt was your MasterCard.
Green.
-What are you doing? -l'm hanging up a picture.
ls it of your girlfriend?
Sort of, l guess.
-You can't. -l can't what?
Policy says that putting up a picture of your girlfriend...
...makes a hostile work environment.
-For who? -For anyone who works here.
For me.
A picture of a girl offends you?
Are you accusing me of being gay?
Policy says that if you are insinuating or inferring...
...that l am homosexual or have an effeminacy to my nature...
...or a sibilancy to my speech or rhythmic way of walking
Okay, okay, okay. Fine, fine.
l don't wanna violate company policy, okay?
Who the man? You the man. Who the man? l the man.
l the man. Yeah.
Know how many zombie wannabes there are in a city like Los Angeles?
l mean, that wasn't really a question because l have no idea.
When l surF for ''woke up dead,'' l get a lot of hits.
Hi, this is wokeupdead.tv.
-Welcome, l'm Matt, with two Ts. -l can't believe he put this on the web.
l'm making a movie.
You're probably wondering why this is dot TV...
...if l'm making a movie.
You're very smart for thinking that...
...because some tool sniped the dot-com URL...
...and wanted beaucoup bucks so l settled for this.
''What is beaucoup?'' you may add.
Well, it's French for ''he's an asshole.''
Anyway, so l'm Matt and l'm making a film...
...about my roommate who happens to be a zombie.
-He woke up dead yesterday. -lt's good.
-Dude, it's brains. -Brains?
You like a little zombie action?
-Are you filming my cleavage? -Yeah.
Jeez, Cassie's on it too?
Okay, Drex Green can't feel pain. He doesn't need to breathe.
Better able to survive as the environment gets harsher.
His senses are high end, can see colors in ultraviolet range.
l've been trying to test his powers...
...but he is a stubborn, thickheaded guy...
...where communicating with him is like talking to a dead man.
Oh, man, Cassie is hot.
l gotta find out if l can get all up in that.
Be nice if l could trust my own roommate.
''feeling alone?''
Right now l am.
''You are not alone.''
Yeah, l'm alone, but l'm gonna find you.
Okay, Matt, Iet's see if your little gadget works.
Hey, Miss Phillips. What can l do for you?
Bayview Medical was expecting a copy of their records this morning.
l did them. l burnt the PDFs to a DVD and had them e-mailed.
They never got them.
Andy, didn't you e-mail the data on that disc l gave you?
Oh, you mean this one?
What the heck? You said you'd send that.
No, you asked me if l could send it and l never gave you an answer.
You've gotta be more specific if you wanna make it at Infocorps.
l want you to burn that data on a DVD...
...and take it yourself to them now.
Yes, right now. Of course.
l'll be talking to you later, Mr. Green.
Dude, how could you do that to me?
l didn't do anything to you.
lt's what l didn't do. It's not the same thing.
So, what are you gonna do about it?
-Whatever. -Yeah , that's what l thought.
Just get lost.
Okay, now back to my real work.
''Seeing things?''
Now we find out exactly where you are.
''Sights no one has ever seen.''
Come on, come on, okay. Southern California. Closer.
Los Angeles? Found you.
-Yes! -Green.
What exactly is your problem, Green?
Nothing. l just love working here, all right?
Yes, yes, so do l.
Can't wait to tell Matt and Cassie.
You gotta be kidding me, that zombie is stupid.
-Hey, guys. -All zombies are stupid.
When's the last time you heard of a law school zombie...
...or a Pulitzer prize-winning zombie?
-Hi. -Hey, Drex.
What's going on?
Nothing, l was iust gonna go get some milk.
l'll be right back.
Milk?
He can't drink milk. Did he just lie to us?
Yes, he did.
This is the best part. This is when Adam West gets dragged to hell.
-Don't touch me. -l didn't see you there.
Pittsburgh666.
Now l know where he's gonna be.
And l'll be there.
Alone.
l don't need their help anymore.
This is something l can take care of by myself.
You're mine now, kid.
And you're not even gonna know what hit you.
-Out for a walk? -Oh, my God! Jeez.
You guys scared me.
You scared us.
-Drex, what are you doing here? -l was just
-Wait, how did you find me? -l traced the GPS of your cell phone.
-You put a tracer on me? -Oh, yeah.
Drex, where are you going?
l found Pittsburgh666.
And you didn't tell us? l thought we're supposed to be a team.
Look...
...l thought l could figure this out on my own, you know.
l iust.... l didn't wanna bother you two.
Look, l understand
lt's not the first time l liked a girl that likes someone else.
You think Matt and l?
Aren't you?
No, in his dreams.
l'd probably be the first woman in his life that wasn't inflatable.
But, Drex, no.
ls that why you ran away?
l thought it'd be easier on everyone.
Drex, l'm not in this for easy. There's nothing easy being with you.
l'm here to see you through this to the end.
-The end? -Whatever.
Welcome to wokeupdead.tv.
Posting 1.5.
We are about to peel back the first layer...
...of an international conspiracy revolving around this man...
...Drex Green, a.k.a. the man who woke up dead.
We're going to see some guy who's been e-mailing me to, you know...
...get inside my head. l doubt there's more to it than that.
Yeah, there's not much in your head.
Hello?
This doesn't feel good.
Yeah, this feels like a trap.
We're being watched right now.
We should probably get inside.
l hear something.
What? A dog barking in Pacoima?
No, no, no, it's closer than that.
-Who's that? -What do you want from me?
-Who are you? -You e-mailed me.
-You're Pittsburgh666? -No, you are, aren't you?
-Didn't you ask me to meet you here? -No.
lf you didn't, then who did?
-Shit, it's a trap. -What? Wait, what's a trap?
-You're not gonna get me. -Wait, stop, no.
l am both frightened and incredibly turned on right now.
-What does that mean? -lt means you're a dick.
Yeah, that's kind of true.
Hey, wait, wait.
-l iust wanna talk. -Talk to my ass.
Nice ass.
She does kind of have a nice ass.
lf you really mean that...
...then that opens up a whole new fantasy world for me.
Keep me out of your sickness, please.
Wait, stop. l'm tired of running, all right?
l iust - Well, l'm not tired, you know.
l don't breathe anymore. But if l did, l'd be bushed.
l mean, that was a lot of running.
-God, l hope they fall. -Matt.
What? They'll be fine.
l'm Drex.
Drex Green. You know, the guy whose jaw you just tried to break.
-What do you want from me? -l don't want anything from you.
-Why should l believe you? -Because....
Because l'm like you.
You're like me.
You must be able to see it too.
You're not like me.
No one is like me.
Wait.
She should not have survived that fall.
Unless she's already dead. Another Woke Up Dead.
And a smoking hot one too.
lt's gonna be good for me. For us. For the website.
Look, l like Drex as much anybody...
...but that is not a face you wanna put on the side of a bus.
Don't you understand what this means?
Drex is not alone.
lt also means zombies are coming in all shapes and sizes.
You know what l...?
Drex, did you recognize her? Did you see her around work at all?
No, but she was cute.
-Cute? -Well, cute enough.
Well, if she didn't set the meeting then who did?
That guy from the IM, Pittsburgh666.
l iust figured it out.
-What? -Pittsburgh guy.
George A. Romero. Director of Wight of the Living Dead.
He's from Pittsburgh. Shot the original zombie movies there.
-And the 666? -Sign of the devil, the Antichrist.
Haven't you ever read Nostradamus? Seen rhe Omen?
-New one or the old one? -Either, both.
No, not really my thing.
You may wanna do some research...
...considering we're living in a zombie film right now.
Okay, l ripped a frame from the video.
Here we go.
l guess she is cute.
We gotta find her. l'm not in this alone anymore.
We gotta find her and figure out who did this.
To both of us.
Biometrics is what the government uses to track us down.
Everybody's on the grid. Here, check this out.
This is a freeze-frame of WUD gal.
WUD gal?
l'm sorry, that's my bad. WUD bitch?
Yeah, because that's so much better.
Anyway, we put this picture in our computers...
...compare it to motor vehicle, medical, federal, state...
...and local record until the software finds a match.
And by ''we,'' l mean Drex, and by ''our computers''...
-...l mean Drex's computers at work. -Great.
When you find her, you have to call us. Promise?
l promise.
Wait one second. l'm gonna put this around your neck.
What is this? What's with the talisman?
This talisman has a little camera in it that l connected to your Kodak Zi8...
...which l can use to track you down anywhere.
Why do you keep saying the model number and name like that?
What? The Kodak Zi8?
-Yeah. -lt's part of my deal with Kodak.
Okay, stop it. It's weird. Why are you Ietting him put a camera on me?
Whoever sent you to that warehouse is trying to get to you and that girl.
lf you had gone there alone, who knows?
We have to keep track of you for your own protection.
And because it's unbelievably cool.
Good, because l feel like a gay warlock.
So there l was on my lunch hour.
forgoing reheated calves' brains...
...so l could hunt down a woman l just barely met.
lt helps that my typing's gone to like 1000 words a minute.
For some reason, my brain is working as fast as my finger muscles.
Shoot. Gotta finish before Andy ''Follow the Rules or Die'' Batten...
...gets back and rats me out again.
l don't really wanna eat his brains.
Although l did skip lunch.
Wait, here we go. Aurora Hollander. Yes.
The address on Aurora's license was no good, l checked that first.
So l ran it through WCIC.
Like they do on all those TV cop shows.
Turns out she's been arrested more times than Amy Winehouse.
Five EZ-Marts within a block of each other.
Only two more stores in that neighborhood.
Wait, are you kidding me?
That one's being robbed right now.
l think l got her.
Oh, crap.
Fifteen tacos?
What? Taco Tuesday. Three for 99 cents.
You could have gotten some too.
Hey. Drex's medallion camera is off.
What? He must have shut it off by mistake.
Hang on, let me rewind it, see when we lost the feed.
Shit! The medallion camera's history.
Forget about your freaking camera. Where's Drex?
With an excruciatingly hot zombie.
Hello?
Where am l?
-You. -Now, tell me why l shouldn't kill you.
-Where are we? -Not far from Dodger Stadium.
Dodger Stadium?
That's miles from the EZ-Mart you robbed.
How'd you figure out what store l'd hit?
Wasn't too hard, you've robbed every other one in that neighborhood.
-Why are you people hunting me? -Okay. Wait.
One, there is no ''you people,'' all right?
lt's iust me and my two friends.
And B, l'm not trying to hunt you. l'm just trying to find answers.
Trying to figure out what happened to me. To us.
So you're like me.
When did you know?
About a week ago. l went to a party...
...woke up dead.
You're lucky.
That l woke up dead?
That you had a party.
l woke up in a pile of garbage.
l don't care about how l got this way.
l iust know l'm gonna use it.
For what?
For whatever l want.
What are we gonna do?
l'm trying everything, okay?
-l promise, we'll find him. -What if we don't find him?
Well, you go back to medical school. l go back to shooting up-skirt videos.
Maybe we can arrange like a med, kind of, themed one.
-That's pretty depressing. -Yeah.
Well, we're not there yet, okay?
Come on. Where's our boy?
With our combined powers, we can do it together.
Steal? l don't know.
l've never stolen anything in my life.
Never left the drive-through window...
...and found an extra order of fries in the bag?
Onion rings, once.
Did you drive back and return it?
No.
No, l can't ioin you, all right?
l iust started a new iob.
Why work? Look at me.
l could show you things you've never dreamed of.
l'll bet.
We can take whatever we want.
Tell me, Drex. There must be something you wanna reach out...
...and iust grab.
l'll have to think about it.
Don't think long.
lt won't be very long now.
Drex, where have you been? We've been trying to track you.
Dude, you all right? Did you find her?
l lost her again. Sorry about this thing, it's trashed.
That's not a problem. l can fix this.
Drex, l was really worried.
Oh, thanks. l'm fine.
Look, you guys, l gotta get some sleep, it's been a long day.
l feel bad l lied to them. l know they care about me...
...but they'll never understand what's happening to me.
The good news is now l have someone who does.
You made the right choice coming back here, Drex.
My friends think l'm crazy, but you know l'm not.
Now, tell me, l mean, what happens next?
l mean, how long do l stay like this?
Does it get any worse?
Since when do men wanna talk?
l don't know. Since Oprah?
He's not answering. That's like the 100th text l've sent him.
Hope you have unlimited messaging. Your bill will be through the roof.
l wanna make sure he didn't forget about the nerve-induction tests.
Maybe he's iust working late or maybe he's out feeding on brains.
Something's not right. l can tell.
Oh, then there's the food.
lf l have to eat one more brain, l'm gonna join Mensa.
You eat brains? No wonder your friends laugh at you.
-What do you eat then? -Hot dogs.
Hot dogs?
l can only digest brains. l thought
What do you think is in this, meat?
Okay, do you have any onions?
We can't digest onions.
-How about some artificial cheese? -Sure.
l totally forgot how much l loved home cooking.
-Not bad. -Now l have a question for you.
What do you notice when you look at me?
l wasn't checking out your boobs, l swear.
l know. That's frankly kind of disappointing.
Drex, when you got me on the roof that first night...
...you noticed l looked different than everybody else, right?
Yeah, that's right.
You were glowing. But not like live people, like me.
lt's part of the gift, Drex.
Your senses have changed.
Everything we see now gives off its own unique energy.
Us, regular people, alarm systems.
Okay, so, what other kind of cool stuff can l do...
...now that l'm Woke Up Dead?
Do you trust me?
Sure, why not?
What are you doing?
What is that?
What are you? Oh, man.
-What? It doesn't hurt, right? -No, it's just a really nice shirt, okay?
l don't have a lot of these.
What is wrong with you?
Pay attention, Drex.
-You gotta show me how to do that. -You already know how, Drex.
Teach me more.
We can teach each other.
Sure, why not?
Drex, where have you been? l've been texting you like crazy.
Sorry, l didn't know my phone ringer was off.
There's this new thing called vibrate.
l'm sorry, l guess l forgot.
-Dude, come on. -Drex.
-Drex, please open the door. -Yeah, dude.
-We need to talk. -Yo, dude. This is bullshit.
l know the last week has been insane but you just can't run away now.
You have to....
l'm in total control of my body now, thanks to Aurora.
l'm so stoked to have Aurora in my life.
l'm also grateful Cassie and Matt think this job...
...takes me eight hours a day to finish.
Makes sneaking out on them so much easier.
The sooner l get through this...
...the sooner Aurora can tell me all about my amazing new life...
...and awesome powers.
Could you try to keep it down?
Your typing is annoying me.
l wish you were dead.
lf only he knew. l am.
Drex missed his tests. He better not screw me on this.
Those results are crucial for my research.
The signal on his medallion isn't registering.
That's impossible.
No, it isn't. He ditched it.
He's obviously doing something he doesn't want us to know about.
Okay.
So did you give any thought to joining me in the next robbery?
l've got the perfect EZ-Mart all picked out.
You think l'm ready? You think l've learned enough?
Let's see.
No small talk, you're gonna go straight to the gun?
Yep.
You get some sick pleasure out of shooting me.
Yep.
Drex may have thought he was outsmarting us...
...what he doesn't know is that Big Brother's still watching him.
What are you talking about?
Let's iust say last night l placed a little camera on Drexie.
You're too good at placing these spy cams.
-Should l be worried? -No.
lf you look worried l can't use the footage of you in the shower.
lt iust ruins the mood.
l'm kidding. l'm messing with you.
l could still use that footage.
Okay, let's see something here.
Do you have a particular limblorgan preference?
No, iust surprise me.
Okay.
Oh, my God! What was that?
Sounded like gunshots.
Hang on. l'll try to bring up the picture
How did you do that?
l iust concentrated on not getting shot.
Why? You don't feel pain and you know you can heal yourself.
l didn't wanna ruin another shirt.
l've never dodged a bullet.
l'm sorry. No, wait.
That makes me so hot.
-lt does? -Oh, yeah.
First she's shooting him and now she's
-Totally getting it on with him. -l thought he needed our help.
Looks like they're doing fine by themselves, but l'd love to participate.
We're gonna make a wonderful team.
Well, hey, you look nice.
-Meeting someone? -Something like that.
Wait a minute. You want me to make you breakfast?
How about a brain omelet? Hold the eggs.
l'm off brains. Thanks though.
Why don't we iust have a conversation?
You know, like friends.
Okay. Sure.
So, what's new in your life?
Nothing comes to mind.
l really gotta get going.
Thanks. See you.
Okay.
Catch up with you later.
Friend.
All clear.
Security cameras.
Oh, yeah?
Okay.
Wait a minute. We gotta be careful up ahead.
Heat sensors.
We're not hot anymore, remember?
Well, l'm not.
Time for a little Drex TV.
Come on, Drex, think about what you're doing, okay?
Give me time to record this stuff.
What's going on?
Well, looks like Drex and zombie hottie...
...are in the middle of breaking and entering.
-All right. -Ready for a good time?
What? Here? Now?
l'd love to but this is not really the right situation or environment or
The card, yeah. Good idea.
How did you get this, anyway?
Well, you're not the only one with secrets.
Wait a second.
The card isn't working. l thought you knew this place.
Maybe it only works during business hours.
-What? -Nothing .
Guess we can't get in.
There's one other option.
That works too.
l think there might still be a problem.
What? They turned off the alarm.
Shit, they tripped the silent alarm. They know that they're there.
He's got no chance. We have to help him.
-Okay, where's the safe? -Safe?
You know, big metal box, holds money?
There's something more valuable than money.
And it's right here.
ls this where you work? You took me to break into your office?
What could possibly be here that's worth more than cash?
lnformation.
What kind of information?
Bank safe combination information?
Bank account information? Bank something information?
All information.
Check this out.
All right, let's see.
Criminal records, DMV, NCIC, IRS, you name it.
With this information, people can track you anywhere.
And we can sell the information?
No, it's not about the money. Watch.
What did you iust do?
l iust erased all records of you.
You no longer exist. You're completely off the grid.
You erased my files?
That's what l came here to give you.
Your freedom. You understand?
You'll never have to worry about the police coming after you again.
lf anything happens to him, l'm gonna kill him. Again.
Why would Drex wanna hang out with that skank?
He falls for any girl who says hello. You should know better than anybody.
What do you mean? You think Drex has feelings for me?
Oh, please.
Does a hooker take cash?
So this was your big idea? All the risk of robbery but no money?
-Can we talk about this later? -No, you agreed to steal with me.
Tell you what, all right? Afterwards, we can steal an ATM.
Right now, l wanna concentrate on getting out of here.
Now, if we go at this together
-Forget it. It'll never work. -No, it will.
-l iust-- -l mean, me and you.
That's what's not gonna work.
You wanna help the world, l just want a little bit of the good life.
This is where we admit we just see things differently.
Goodbye, Drex.
Get her. Get her, man.
Security breach! Security breach!
Get in.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! What were you thinking?
Freaking stop hitting me. l don't know.
l guess l thought l needed someone.
Not to study me or make money off me.
Someone who would accept me for what l am.
Of course, in the end, she iust turned out like everybody else.
Only wanted me for what l could be worth to her.
l shouldn't have run from Matt and Cassie.
Just like l can't run from what's happening to me.
l have to accept it and take the next step.
-What now, Green? -Two things.
My name is Drex. Drex, not Green, okay?
And B, stop being a tool.
What did you say?
l don't know what your problem is with me...
...but you're gonna stop messing with me right now.
You're gonna stop spying on me, clocking me and ratting on me.
Or what? You'll report me?
That's more your style, Andy. No, l'm not gonna report you.
l'm going to kill you.
l will crack your head open like a coconut.
And l will eat your brains.
Are we clear on that?
l said, are we clear on that?
l can work with that.
Good. Good.
-Andy. -Yes?
Have a nice day, buddy.
You too, Drex.
My name is Drex Green.
l don't feel pain. l don't need to breathe.
l can see colors no one else can.
My lame muscles have been replaced with way cooler ones...
...that give me inhuman speed and strength.
Life is good.
Wo, wait, scratch that.
Death is good.
All right, car's across the street.
Let's do this thing. Why are you so happy?
Today is the first day of the rest of my death.
Congratulations. What now?
We know this isn't just happening to me.
We gotta find out what really caused this.
-Find out who's out there. -And protect them.
Not iust make money off of them.
Now, key word there. ''Not just make money off of them.''
Okay, where to next?
Anywhere.
And everywhere.
Drex, those were the most unspecific directions l've ever been given.
Well, before we do that, l wanna say l'm sorry, you guys.
Sorry for what?
Well, l shouldn't have hid what l was doing from you guys.
And despite how big of a dick l was lately...
...you guys put yourselves in a lot of danger, for me.
l'm glad you can see that.
Wait, wait, wait. Back up.
Call yourself a dick again. That was huge.
Still rolling.
Everything that's happened, all that we've been through together.
l iust....
l iust wanted you to know l'm not scared anymore.
No. l know what l have to do.
And nothing or no one is gonna stop me.
l guess you iust have to bottom out sometimes to realize...
...that when things get as bad as they can get...
...at least they can't get any worse.
-Drex! -Damn it, l missed that!
Can you do that again?
What? He's dead.
Can we roll the bus back?
So l broke the rule.
l actually said things can't get worse and then l get hit by a bus.
Fine, that's on me.
But now, l gotta think things can't possibly--
Drexel.
Mom.
l would have preferred another bus hit.
You know those moms who bring you chicken soup when you're sick...
...and bandage your skinned knees and tuck you in bed at night...
...making sure they check for monsters in the closet first?
Jesus, you look like crap.
My mom wasn't one of those.
Good to see you too, Mom.
Looking foxy as ever, Meryl.
-Looking as useless as ever, Matthew. -Touché.
l know Drex might seem a little under the weather, Mrs. Green.
-Meryl. And who are you? -l'm Cassie, l'm a med student.
So you can rest assured that l'm taking very good care of Drex.
Oh, Miss Med Student.
Well, you've done such a good iob taking care of my son...
...that you'll be able to help explain this to me.
lt's a death certificate for one Drexel Green.
No, that's a mistake. It's a ioke.
You can imagine how much l laughed when l opened it.
l figured there had to be some reason you'd be here.
You didn't visit me once the four years l was in college, you know.
Six years. But who's counting?
Well, l'm here now and l might as well stay for dinner.
So, what are you eating these days? Not much it looks like.
-Brains. -Calves' brains.
Yeah, okay, l've developed a taste for calves' brains, so....
Proving once again you are your father's son.
l'm gonna have some white wine.
Now she decides to show up and start acting like a mother?
l don't know how something like him came out of something as hot as that.
You become more and more disgusting every day.
l love you.
Drex, explain to me again why the idiot is taping you eating dinner.
He's making a documentary about Drex.
Yeah, yeah, l'm following him 24/7.
You planning on selling these as sleeping aids?
Although it's better than the time...
...you videotaped your bowel movements for a month.
Yeah. l got an A on that though.
Drex, you
You don't mind someone following you around 24/7...
...watching your every move?
l don't know. You get used to it.
l would say that that's sick...
...but living the life l've led, l can't judge.
-Thank you. -But it is a little weird.
-What would you know about weird? -l know weird.
Hell, in the '70s, your father and l lived in a Self-Actualization Fellowship.
You were in a cult?
Cult is a very ugly word.
We were merely a group of like-minded individuals...
...sharing a living space, pursuing a mutual goal of enlightenment.
They were in a cult.
Was it like a naked cult?
The Sleepers were not a cult.
They said so at the trial.
Wait? Trial?
We called ourselves the Sleepers because we were
Your father and l and the rest of the group
Would all sleep with each other?
Were trying to awaken our genetic potential.
That sort of thing.
l'd like to awaken your genetic potential if
Shut up.
Genetic potential.
You didn't, by any chance, take drugs, did you?
Well, what exactly do you mean by drugs?
Goddamn it, Julian.
l could be living with a Bee Gee, you know.
l guess you could say l was 420-friendly.
Mom.
Mrs. Green, did you iust come here to upset Drex?
l came here to help him.
Well, why now, all of a sudden?
You were never around when l was growing up.
All through school, l had to make my lunch.
All you ever kept in the fridge was cream cheese and grape jelly.
By lunchtime, the bread was purple.
Do you know what it's like...
...to be the only kid with a purple sandwich?
Made you self-sufficient.
lt made me get beat up every day.
l didn't need you then and l don't need you now.
Just give me one good reason...
...one reason, why l should even keep talking to you.
Because l know what's happening to you.
How could you know that?
l'm your mother.
We know these things.
Look at them.
No clue.
Like there's nothing wrong with the world.
Drex doesn't seem like a bad kid.
He trusted me.
Well, that was the idea, wasn't it?
Get him to trust you, draw you in...
...then you find out what's going on with the Woken underground.
l don't think he knows anything. He's just a sweet, goofy guy.
Sweet, goofy guy.
Miss Hollander, a sweet, goofy guy?
l'll have you know that this sweet guy...
...is the biggest threat to the American way of life...
...to come down the pike since the atom bomb.
l've been waiting for this day for 20 years.
This is the first threat we've experienced...
...since l was recruited from Army Intelligence.
You spent two decades tracking down threats to the human race.
Now you're convinced it's him?
Yes.
Yes, it's quite thrilling, isn't it?
And now you realize that every kid is a potential time bomb.
What are you gonna do? Round them up, all of them?
Yes, Miss Hollander, l am gonna round them up, all of them.
lf that's okay with you.
lf not, l can always leave you where l found you.
l saw a nice alley back there.
No.
Don't worry.
l'll bring Drexel Green down.
Yes, you will.
-What? -What do you mean?
l mean that l know what Drex is turning into...
...and l think l know what's causing it.
Besides, l think that l might be partly to blame.